Teaching ADHD Children to Follow Directions
- Beth Skaret
- Feb 3, 2019
- 6 min read
Updated: Jul 8, 2025
It’s no secret that children with ADHD have trouble following directions. Sometimes you repeat yourself 5 times before you are heard and then...only part of the direction is followed….
What is that about?
You know they can hear you.
This isn’t a new or difficult thing you’ve told them to do.
Why can’t they follow directions?
In this post we will
What you can do to teach ADHD children to follow directions
Take a good look at what is going on when ADHD children are not following directions.
See where the breakdown is happening.
But first….
In case you are new to the Jesus Me & ADHD blog, here are some other popular posts for you to check out:
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Let’s dig in.
What You Can do to Teach ADHD Children to Follow Directions.
1. Make sure you have their FULL attention BEFORE you begin to give directions.
Give them a 3 minute warning that you are going to ask them to do something.
Turn off any competing noises or visuals.
Say their name and wait for them to respond to you by looking and you and answering you verbally, (“yes?” “what?”)
2. Give them the directions in no more than 3 individual tasks.
(ie. instead of clean your room, 1. Put the dirty clothes in the hamper, 2. Put clean clothes in the drawer. 3. Put toys in toybox).
You can even break it down into 3 key words that are easy to remember: hamper, drawer, toybox.
You may need to begin by only giving 1 task at a time if it proves very difficult. You can slowly work up to 3 tasks as they gain success.
3. Repeat the directions to them at least twice.
4. Have them repeat the directions back to you out loud 2-3 times using the keywords.
5. If you have a child that struggles with following directions for daily activities (such as getting ready for bed) you could use a checklist.
It can be a laminated sheet with either words or pictures of the routine that they can check off using a dry erase marker.
You can even write on a bathroom mirror with a dry erase marker.
You can have a stack of 3 Duplo blocks with the key words written on them in the location where the task is to be done. Your child can either stack or unstack the blocks as the steps are completed.
(ie. in the bathroom there can be 3 Duplo blocks with the words or pictures brush teeth, wash face, comb hair. )
6. Check in during the process and redirect.
As your child is developing their direction following skills, they may still get off task.
Check in with each task and restate the task in simple, specific terms when they get distracted.
Don’t criticize. Be patient and give the direction again in an encouraging way.
7. Give positive reinforcement when they make progress.
It’s easy to point out when someone does something wrong.
Instead of pointing out how they did not follow the directions completely, point out how they improved.
For example, if they put the dirty clothes in the hamper and the toys in the toybox, but forgot the clean clothes...praise them for what they DID remember. - “Hey, you did a great job finding all the dirty clothes and getting the toys back where they belong. Good for you. Can I help you with getting these clean clothes in the drawer too?”
Praising what WAS done and offering to help with what was missed is much more encouraging than complaining about how they messed it up or didn’t finish.
What is Going on when ADHD Children are not Following Directions.
All kids have trouble learning to follow directions sometimes. (Adults do too, if we are honest)
Children with ADHD have trouble following directions most of the time.
What does it look like when a child with ADHD is not following directions?
According to Amanda Morin,
“(ADHD) Kids can have problems with written directions or with spoken instructions. You may notice your child loses the point of what is said or skips directions when he reads. Your child may also:
Take a long time to respond
Misread directions
Miss key information
Have trouble recognizing what’s important information and what’s not
Have trouble holding on to information and using it effectively
Mix up what you say
Get lost when reading
Seem to hear, but not listen
Find it hard to remember details
Have difficulty responding to direct questions”
Mix up the order in which things need to be done.”
Where is the break down happening that keeps ADHD Children from Following Directions.
1. They might not be READY to listen and follow directions.
Children with ADHD cannot quickly shift from one point of focus to another.
Just because they are looking at you doesn’t necessarily mean they are processing what you are saying.
They are likely still mentally engaged in the previous activity.
If they are involved in an activity, you need to make sure that you have their full attention before giving instructions or they will not process what you say.
2. They may be distracted by competing noises and visuals.
If there are other interesting things going on around them while directions are being given, an ADHD child may not be able to tune the distractions out.
This may result in them only hearing part of the directions and result in only part of a task being done or it not being done at all due to incomplete information.
3. Their executive functioning skills / working memory is weak.
With ADHD, it is usually due to weak executive functioning skills.
Executive functioning skills are the skills we use to plan, organize, begin and complete tasks. This includes working memory.
Working memory allows us to hold information in our minds while we are processing another step. It lets us do multi step tasks.
For example: If you are trying to write out a sentence for a spelling word, you need to store the correct spelling of each word in the sentence in your head, remember how to form the letters for the spelling, and remember the sentence from start to finish.
From a Biblical perspective, we as (presumably) functioning adults, can have a little ADHD going on ourselves.
God gives us clear written directions about what is expected of us.
We hear it repeated in sermons, on Christian radio, in Christian literature, hopefully from our Christian friends…
But do we always follow those directions?
Are we READY to LISTEN?
Are we distracted by the noises and bright shiny things around us?
Do we hear all the steps or just the easy ones?
Does God have to repeat himself to us sometimes?
When we mess up….does he criticize us?
Can you imagine if he talked to us the way we talk to our children when they don’t follow directions completely?
I am so thankful that God has more grace for us than that.
Let’s keep that in mind when we feel frustrated at having to tell our kids for the 15th time to clear their dishes off the table.
Let’s be an example of grace and mercy as our Lord has been to us.
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Like what you read here?
Check out the rest of my website and blog for more practical ideas to deal with daily ADHD issues and to find encouragement and support in this Journey: www.bethskaret.com
You are warmly invited to join us in our FREE Facebook group: The Jesus Me & ADHD Moms Fellowship. It is a group of Christian Moms of kids with ADHD who share, support and pray for each other as we journey through the daily struggles with ADHD.
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